Seizures are Scary

I have more than 20 years of parenting experience and last night was the scariest night I've ever had with any of my kids.

Just after I got home from work Macy had a seizure and we had to rush her to the ER.  She seized for more than 15 minutes.

It was awful.

Terrifying.



Here's how it happened....

When I came home from work I was surprised that Macy didn't run to meet me like she always does. Dart said Macy was being "cranky" and was "moping  around" because he gave her a time out for being cranky.

(apparently "cranky" and 103 fever look very much alike....grrrr a whole other story.)

I looked over and Macy was standing up but she had her head laying (buried) in a chair.  Immediately it didn't seem right to me.

I picked her up and there was a pool of drool all over the seat of the chair and Macy was rigid in my arms.  As soon as I turned her around to see her face I knew she was in the middle of a seizure.

I think we were out the door in less than a minute.

Thankfully the ER is close, (I could get there faster than calling EMS).

I can't fully express how scared I was. I must have prayed harder in that 5 minute drive than any time in my life.

Dart drove (fast) and I held Macy in my arms wrapped in a blanket, no coat or shoes. I watched as her eyes rolled upward and her body stiffened and she gurgled and, 


I thought she might die.


Oh my God, I am watching my daughter die....Please God did I wait so long just to lose her now... Please God don't take her from me... please, please, please...


Have you been there before, begging God for something? For someone?


I almost can't breathe just thinking about it.


I was shaking and in tears by the time we got to the hospital and I literally ran through the door carrying her and calling for help.

A nurse took her from me immediately and I hurried after her.  Once in the room a team of clinicians descended on Macy while I moved to the corner of the room trying to stay out of their way.


I lost it a little bit in that corner.

More than a little bit.


The physician called it a "complex" febrile seizure: complex because it lasted so long.  Her temp was over 103 and her heart rate (due to the fever) was in the 170's!  She was really sick.

It took hours to get her temp, heart rate and bp close to normal.  Turns out she has (oh and I do too) Influenza A....yup, "just" the flu.

The flu caused a sudden onset fever which (we think) triggered the seizure.

The doc is still a little concerned that she seized for so long and then was disoriented for several hours afterward. We are now supposed to watch for pneumonia symptoms and other seizures.  But both are unlikely.

I know febrile seizures are fairly common in kids but I sure didn't know how scary it is to watch MY child have one.

My beautiful little Macy Bel...don't you ever scare mommy like that again!

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Waiting Child: Jordon

Our little rockstar Jordan has a family!!!

 
Happy little rock star....Move quickly he's way too cute to wait!!!


Can you even imagine how much fun this little guy would be?


Jordon is 2.5 years old, and he was abandoned when he was 18  months old. At that time he did not understand Cantonese or Mandarin. Now, he can speak some short phrases in Mandarin, such as "grandma, mom, thank you, goodbye" and so on. He can understand the words of adults well and respond correctly. He is fairly extroverted, active and outgoing. He is also very compassionate. When other children are crying, he will give them a toy. He likes the toy cars, guns and other toys that are loved by all boys. He likes to put many toys together, putting one into another. Jordon has a heart defect.

Email me for agency info.

Keep voting...we need as many people as possible to see these gorgeous kids!

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Lose 10 Pounds!

Is this some sort of cruel joke?

The day I get back from my calorific cruise and just one month before my half marathon,  I get THIS:

Runner's World (ahem) WEIGHT-LOSS SPECIAL.

What the heck, are they following me?

Did they read about my pound a day floating fat fest?

And by the way, why is this skinny chick with the killer abs (always) on the cover of the weight loss edition?

Just saying. Ugh.


And how about this, after gaining SEVEN pounds on my cruise I have already lost FIVE in the past 48 hours.

How is that even possible?

(Don't be gross.)

And for the record all I did was return to my normal eating and exercise schedule (no condemnation or warnings about crazy diets please)


I'm convinced it's just another part of the ridiculousness of being a metabolic middle aged mess of woman! 

It's hard being a woman.

A woman not being pampered on vacation.

Poor me.

(post vacation pity party continues...)

I told you before clicking burns calories...the scale doesn't lie!

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Post Vacation Depression

I went on a cruise.

There was food.

A lot of food.

Fruity umbrella drinks too (as I recall).



And, no surprise.

I gained weight.

A lot of weight.

SEVEN pounds.

Yeah you heard me.

That's one pound for every day of the cruise!

It's hard to fathom except that I have come to accept this is my new (and totally unwelcome) middle aged metabolism.

But seven pounds?

Is that record of some sort?

A personal "best" for sure.
 


I am an optimist.

In the morning anyway.

Before I step on the scale.

I set myself up for disappointment.

Daily.


But this number shocked me.

Insulted me.

Assaulted me.



If that's not enough my sunburned skin is all gross and peely.



wah wah wah

Scales.

Reality.

hmpf.

Every picture I have of me on vacation includes food...

did you know voting burns calories?

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The Coconut Monkey Head Winner is...

PAM!

Pam I sure hope you have a very special place to display this hand carved work of art.

and Pam we did the same drive south following the South of the Border signs the whole way.  There was as you know a HUGE build up to get to Pedro.  We joked for miles afterward about what a tourist trap it was. The place itself didn't match the hype but it turned out the hype was fun in itself.



Great stories everyone and thanks for sharing!

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Port Day 3

Gooooooood Morning Cozumel!

Leave me a comment today and tell me about your favorite family vacation memory.

This is our last port and I am on the hunt for the monkey head.  This is the big one people.  Don't miss  out on your chance to win.

PS are you still voting for me on top mommy blogs?  All you have to do is click the brown box with the juggling chick. :)

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Braids

Jamaica.


You haven’t changed a bit.


And no I still don’t want to braid my hair.


I could tell you about our day in Jamaica.  You know the zip lining in the monsoon like rain, climbing Dunes River Falls with Nina as my 27 pound weight belt, almost missing the ship and running through the throngs of locals who came out to see the Oasis set sail ...


but really the thing I most want to talk about is



the braids.


The insistent requests by the Jamaicans to braid my hair are the fault of way too many of you are saying yes!


I mean, why?


Seriously ladies even Bo Derek did NOT look good in a full head of corn rows.




I suppose it is one way to say to all your friends... hey look at me I just went on a tropical vacation but wouldn’t a tan and tee shirt work too?


I know it might seem like a good idea when your all juiced up on the vacation endorphins (and perhaps a wee bit too much island rum).


But trust me on this, no matter how cute the beads are, this is NOT a good look and your friends will not impressed.


I’m thinking we need a sort of bad choices buddy system....sort of like the designated driver campaigns.


Consider this your vacation PSA.


Friends don’t let friends get corn rows.


(or get tattoos....but that’s more for Thursday when were in Mexico.)

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Hey Mon

  

No problems. No worries.

Da winner is of port day two's souvenir is...

Jill & Bob

Trust way "better" then the other stuff they were trying to sell me...and by "better" I mean legal.

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PORT DAY 2

Our stop in Haiti was a fairly nondescript beach break. There wasn’t much, by which I mean there was NO Haitian culture to be found.   Honestly I don’t even feel like I can say I’ve been to Haiti. Labadee where we came into port is owned and operated by Royal Caribbean and while the beach areas were pleasant we could have been anywhere in the Caribbean,

Saying I’ve been to Haiti would be like saying I’ve been to Norway....because I once visited the Norwegian section of Epcot.

 But hey the beach is never a bad day.

Macy ready for her first ever day at the beach.

Just keepin it real, a lot of people in this family were tired and cranky today.  I won't name names (cough)...Aidan, Nolan, Dart...but as you can see some of us are having a great time!

We are in port again today!  

Jamaica Mon.

Remember to Leave a comment here for a chance to win the souvenir of the day

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PORT DAY

Sorry this post is late.

It’s island time mon.

Yesterday was our first full day on the Oasis of the Seas.  This ship is ridiculously HUGE.

We are still completely disoriented and I have a feeling we won’t see it all even by the end of the week. 

Our first day was a day at sea and we spent most of the day playing in the pools. 

This morning I already have the sunburn to prove it.

Why do I lather my kids in vats of SPF and then leave myself exposed to fry like a piece of bacon???

The highlight of the first day was our 100% ADULT evening. 

It started with dinner. We were 4 of only just 20 people to eat at the Chef’s Table.  It was a 5 course dinner with wine pairings that include lobster, lamb and duck.

After dinner we went see the show Hairspray and it was surprisingly good.

We thought we were done for the night but then learned there was an 80’s dance party.

It’s my era so how could we not go.


TODAY WE ARE IN HAITI.  LEAVE YOUR COMMENT I ALREADY HAVE MY SUPER D DUPER CLASSY SOUVENIR PICKED OUT FOR SOME LUCKY READER!

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Let's Roll

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

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Why Cant I Sleep In

Got in late last night. Kids finally asleep in the hotel at the ungodly hour of 2am. As usual I am a prisoner of a dark hotel room. My guards all snoring around me.

I'm envious of their ability to sleep so late. I wish my body would be so kind but since becoming a mom it just doesn't work for me.

It's ok. I sort of like listening to them all breathing around me. All my loves.

It's already a good vacation.

Location:Miami Airport Hotel

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Virtual Vacation: Real Souvenirs!

The vacation countdown chain.

We are going on a Caribbean cruise and you are all invited to join us.

Virtually that is.

So pack your virtual suitcase.

Dust off your virtual passport.

And get your virtual pedicure.

Actually go ahead and get a real pedicure, you deserve a little pampering!


We leave tonight!







WHILE WE ARE AWAY...


Each day I will be writing about our adventures in family vacationing.  There will be lots of pictures and fully (edited) recaps of the days adventures.

It will just like being there.


Except you won't be able to hear my kids fighting.


Make sure you check back here throughout the week because each time we stop in a new port I am going to buy a special souvenir for one of my very lucky and oh so fabulous readers. 

All you have to do to be in the drawing to win the souvenir is leave a comment on a day we are in port.  For my Facbook followers I'll need you to comment on the blog to play along.  I will announce the winner the following day and post a picture of your amazing prize.

(Now just to be clear were talking "amazing" as in "oh wow how did they carve that coconut to look just like a pirate monkey?")

Sound like fun?

Thanks to Jamie Mornigstar for this great idea.  The girls took turns cutting one link each day from the vaction countdown chain.  It ended up being a great way for them to understand how many days there were before vacation. This little craft projects gets two thumbs up from this traveling mama!



Personally I would hit the followers button (over there on the right) AND vote today.  You don't want to miss anything when coconut pirate monkey heads are at stake.





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Waiting Children: Desperate Help Needed for these kids!

An agency has received grants from a generous donor in the amount of $1500 to $5000 per child (depending on the needs of the family) for the following children about to age out.

Please help spread the word about these kids and find families with dossiers already logged in to adopt these kids! They are running out of time very quickly!!!! They all age out in the next few months!


Waiting Child: Marie
Age: 13 (ages out in June)
Special Need: Post-operative CHD
Marie is a beautiful, extroverted and clever girl who is loved by everyone. She gets good marks in schools. In 2009 she was in grade 6 and went happily to school and listened to her teachers. She takes good care of herself, can run and jump freely, sweeps the floors voluntarily, makes the bed and wipes the desk. She is well behaved and popular.

Waiting Child: Jessica
Age 13 (ages out in July)
Special Need: Post-operative cleft lip/palate, Hep B carrier
Jessica is active and extroverted. She has formed close bonds with her caretakers and is a happy girl. She is a smart girl and communicates well with others. She helps the caretakers do housework actively. She has normal physical and mental development.

Waiting Child: Perry
Age 13 (ages out in July)
Special Need: Cerebral Palsy
Perry is shy, but gets along well with others. In 2009 he was doing well in grade 1 at school. He lives with a foster family and is able to get along with his classmates at school and finish his homework by himself. He has good language skills and can take care of himself. He has a slight limp, but is able to walk well. He has some trouble running and jumping. He likes watching TV and chatting with his foster family at home. His foster parents take him out for walks often to help his muscles.

Waiting Child: Lee
Age 13 (Ages out in July)
Special Need: Healthy, Older
Lee was found and sent to live in the orphanage when he was 10 years old. Despite being abandoned at an older age, they have taken such good care of him at the orphanage that he is filled with trust in his life. He is active and loves to smile. He loves to play outside and gets along with the nannies and other children very well. He is a very polite young man. He is a very bright boy, but he doesn’t like to study. He has written that he wishes to be adopted, but his time is running out!

Waiting Child: Hansen
Age: 13 (Ages out in July)
Special Need: Repaired cleft lip/palate
Hansen is a bright child who likes playing basketball, bike riding, traveling, drawing and doing housework. He wants a family and understands that foreigners will speak a different language. He promises to get along with brothers and sisters and will study hard. He wants a mother and father to love him.

Please contact me for agency information. Thank you for your dedication to helping these children to have a life full of hope and potential.

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Luck of the Irish

(Old Celtic Prayer)

Dear Lord,
Give me a few friends
who will love me for what I am,
and keep ever burning
before my vagrant steps
the kindly light of hope...
And though I come not within sight
of the castle of my dreams,
teach me to be thankful for life,
and for time's olden memories
that are good and sweet.
And may the evening's twilight
find me gentle still.

I'm the luckiest mom alive and I've got the virtual Asian IRISH twins to prove it!

THANK YOU for reading this blog and thank you for all the top mommy votes.  

New friends and old are coming by each day.  And more and more people are seeing the children I am advocated for.  It fills my heart to know this.

As of this moment BOTH "Molly" and "Kaleb" are listed as "pending" meaning there are families now seriously considering adopting them!


Can you pray for these families and for Molly and Kaleb, that they are LUCKY enough this St Patrick's Day to find their forever.


And for all of you wonderful people who encourage me each time you stop by my site, or leave a comment or cast a vote ...

May your day be touched
by a bit of Irish luck,
brightened by a song in your heart,
and warmed by the smiles
of the people you love.

little known fact....Voting brings good luck.

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Outsourced

Slight change of pace...

I am going to India in May.  It is a business trip to investigate the potential of outsourcing part of our business.

(In case you don't already know when I'm not blogging or shopping on Etsy or playing Candy Land or cheering at youth hockey games, I'm the Chief Executive Officer of a midsized health care company.)

I've always had a slight discomfort with outsourcing when so many American's are out of work.  Of course I am also very much aware of the realities of the global economy.  How to balance the two? It is a dilemma.



I got a telemarketing call yesterday that did not help


It was not from India


It was from (I'm just guessing) somewhere near where those Jersey Shore kids live.


Ironically his "New Yawka" accent was so thick at first I had no idea what he was talking about


My husband filled out an entry card.

(yup that sounds like him)


We won a trip.

(sure we did)


We need to come pick up our "prize" in person.

(yeah whatever)


Then perhaps sensing my skepticism, the telephone mark-a-teer added

(and I'm going to go out onto a limb and say this was not in his approved script)


"I don't need no money now cause this ain't like no timeshare scheme or nothing."


(try not to laugh...too late....snort)


Are you kidding?


In a way I was impressed at his efficiency. I didn't think one could obliterate so many rules of grammar in a single sentence!


I mean it had;

the "ain't,

the superfluous "like"

the double double negative.



But that wasn't even the best part



He went on to tell me we could choose a trip to either Orlando or Vegas


He informed me that Orlando was, "more of a family trip" and we could take the kids


Vegas he continued was more of an adult vacation and probably best for just me and my husband.


But he quickly clarified that since my husband was the actual winner he could choose anybody he wanted to go with him to Vegas.



Forgive me but this is where I hung up the phone.



And all I could think was...


1. THIS is why we outsource call center jobs to India.


2. Who the hell else is my husband taking to Vegas?



Hey you gotta like click the brown bar or I ain't never gonna get to #1.

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A Girl Called Sara

Before she was Macy our daughter was called by several different names.

The orphanage director (we think) officially named her Fu Li Ping, ("Fu" being a made up surname to indicate her status as an orphan).

Later her Chinese foster mother called her Ping Mei.

Did her birth mother name her?  We may never know.


We do know that shortly after she was born she was lovingly called Sara.

We do not know everything about the day our daughter was born but we do know that within hours of her birth a young American girl whose family had worked tirelessly to minister to the needs of orphans in China was walking by the orphanage just as a police car drove away.


The girl knew immediately why a police car would be at the orphanage.

first photo/only hours old

A new baby.


So she went in and found the newborn girl just hours old, her hair still matted from birth.  The tiny baby was still dressed in the printed sleeper she was found in and she had a very wide cleft lip.

The girl took her to her family's home that day and Praise God the baby never spent even one night without the love of family.

And they named her Sara



Over the next few months the girl and her family provided Sara with love, food, medicine, prayer.

The family lobbied the Chinese officials to provide for her surgery as soon as possible. (They understood that the sooner a cleft affected child has surgery the better they do.) They were granted their request and they saw Sara through the surgeries to repair her lip and palate.

Sara was blessed.

Hannah with "Sara" just prior to surgery

There is no doubt that "Sara" was already a happy baby and that she loved Hannah.

Years later Sara has become our vivacious Macy Bel.

In fact it is already the only name she remembers.

But yesterday once again she was lovingly called Sara.


Because THE GIRL...

the one who will always hold a special place in our dear daughter's life,

the one who God led to the orphanage that day,

Came all the way from China to visit the girl she once called "Sara" .


And we were all blessed.

The seeds of Macy's sweet personalty were planted by this gentle woman.

Somehow Macy understood that Hannah was someone special to her.

Macy looks on as Hannah shares photos and video of her as a baby.

Both girls were drawn to Hannah who has a genuine gift with children.  Macy was very sad that her
"China friend" had to go home.

Please keep voting...

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Singles Allowed to Adopt from China

Starting tomorrow singles will be able to adopt children from China's Special Focus program. 

Children in the Special Focus Program are those who have been on the shared list for more than 2 months or have needs great enough to be placed there from the beginning.  They are by definition harder to place children.  They are often older but not always and sometimes include older healthy children. 


I think this is great news for the 2.000 kids that wait for families each month in China.  BTW my sweet "Molly" is a special focus child.

There are a couple of extra "rules" for singles including a limit of 2 children already in the home with the youngest being at least 6 years old. By in large though the qualification requirements are very similar to the standard program.

It will be interesting to see if the CCAA even keeps to these "rules", since recently many adoptive families have received waivers for things like; age, income, number of children already in the home.  Also there are many families who are now adopting two children at the same time.

I suppose none of this is "ideal". 

There will be critics. (There always are.)

It would be wonderful if every family came packaged with a mom and dad and unlimited income and no other children to share attention.

It would also be wonderful if there were no orphans...no children waiting for months and years and even lifetimes for a mom of their own.

And while we are dreaming it would be nice if there wasn't infertility and every person who wanted to marry could find the right person or be allowed to marry whom thy choose and of course we should all have great jobs, beautiful homes, a big bank account and lots of time off from work.

All I know is starting tomorrow some very loving parents are going to find their very lovable children.



BTW speaking of lovable children here is a picture of mine singing at church this Sunday...is it my imagination or are they the only two singing???

Hey check it out...we hit #3 on Top Mommy Blogs! Click the banner to see for yourself.

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Saturday Night Fever

I have to choose between trying to come up with something clever to write here or chilaxing with my hubby.

The girls are spending the night at grandma and grandpa's, Nolan is sleeping over a friends house, Aidan is locked in his room for a marathon video game session and Kiefer (wait where is Kiefer?), no matter, it's Saturday he'll be gone soon.

The point is we are practically alone.

I have an actual opportunity to stay AT HOME and RELAX with my husband.

Most of you have children.

Surely you understand.

So while I love you all...

I'm out of here!

Of course there is one little problem.  This morning I hit #3 on top mommy blogs and I'd kinda like to stay there for a bit.

Here's the rub, the writer of blog #4 is threatening her readers to go on a writing strike if she is not returned to the #3 position which means the heat is on for me.

So if you don't mind would you just click the big brown bar at the bottom of this post so my guy and I can just veg tonight?  Oh and it would be swell if you came back and clicked it again on Sunday cause we're thinking about sleeping in.


Hey thanks...you're the best.

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5 Miler

31st Annual St. Malachi Run

I ran my first 5 mile race today.

Ok "ran" and "race" sound like a bit of an exaggeration.

At 55 minutes it was pretty much a lumber.

As Woody said to Buzz Lightyear...that's not flying, it's falling with style.

But the point is I did it.


(btw it was cold, windy and wet. Way colder than I expected. I rummaged around my van looking for stray winter hats and gloves.  I ended up with a lovely headband to keep my ears from freezing and wore the girl's Disney princess stretch gloves for the first half of the race.  Sexy.)

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Waiting Child: "Kaleb"

FOUND HIS FOREVER FAMILY!

I am going to warn you right now....don't even look at this picture unless you are prepared to fall hopelessly in love.


This little guy is just turning one year old this month.


He has started to crawl and is standing for a few seconds on his own.  It won't be long now before he starts walking.


Just think if a lucky family moves quickly they could be there to see his first steps!


Hold on to your heart...this is Kaleb.

Don't you just want to eat him up?  Kaleb has a deformity of the fingers but it doesn't seem to hold him back one bit.  Here is some of what is found in his file;

Kaleb is a sweet, smiley baby. He can sit alone quite steadily, and he can crawl for 2 meters. He has learned to stand for 3 seconds with holding onto support. His hands are strong and can hold a toy with one hand. He is very smart, can recognize the caretakers who look after him, will smile at familiar people when he meets them, can crawl toward his caretakers and can locate the sound source when his name is called. He has begun to imitate adults’ words, can make the sound “a” and sometimes can call “mama”. He is good at observing and pays close attention to things. He is extroverted and has a ready smile. He is fond of laughing and screaming, likes to be held and teased. 

Personally I can't believe this child has waited even a minute for his forever family. 


Kaleb is on an agency specific list.  Email me and I will gladly share the agency contact info.  The agency can provide detailed information about this beautiful boy.

Also sweet little Molly is still waiting for her forever family.

Keeping this blog high on the top mommy directory helps get the word out. Please keep voting.

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Babies and Botox

One might think from reading some of my recent posts, advocating for orphans, showcasing the faces of special need adoption and traveling to orphanages around the world, that I am some sort of selfless humanitarian.

Giving without regard to my own wants and needs (cough).

Ummmm no.

Right after I posted yesterday, I got into my car and drove to the plastic surgeon's office for a facial peel and some botox.


Clearly the only thing "deep" about me is the conflict within.


That and this one line in my forehead. (humpf)



Sometimes I think I need to chuck it all

the worldly trappings

consumerism

vanity

my Louboutins



These things don't exactly line up with the other things I am passionate about.


But I am weak.  I want my STUFF and my ideals too.



So I ask you is it possible

To save the world (or my little piece of it)

and wear the perfect shade of lipstick too??

Oh yes and I want my votes too!

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Team Chen Zhou

I'm heading back to China in June.

Nope not adopting another child.

Just heading over to love on them for a while.


******

Perhaps the thing I enjoy most about writing this blog is that it has introduced me to so many wonderful people. (I'm not exaggerating when I say through this blog I've met a group of women who have become some of my dearest friends.)


Last week once again through the blogosphere I was introduced to yet another amazing person.

She is Shannon,

a China mom,

who knows another Kaz mom,

who reads my blog

(see what I mean?)
 
Turns out Shannon is leading a group of volunteers on a Christian missionary trip to orphanages in China for two weeks in June.


The trip is coordinated through Visiting Orphans and it will include work in the SWI in Chen Zhou as well as a visit to Shepard's Field Children's Village outside of Beijing.


Visiting Orphans mission statement is "to awaken the body of Christ to be the hands and feet of Jesus to the 163 million orphans by visiting them, loving them, and sharing the Father’s heart."


I LOVE THAT.


I am hopeful that in addition to sharing a bit of my time and love I will be able to advocate for some of the children once I get home. (I promise lots of photos and videos!)


Right now in the midst of my six (now five-not that I'm counting) months of prayerful contemplation about a third adoption, THIS feels exactly like what I should be doing.

China, orphans, advocating.

IT FITS.

I knew immediately that I wanted to join Shannon on this trip but there isn't a lot of prep time and my calender is already full with travel plans.

Oh and have I mentioned I have five kids?

But I need to do this.

So it is going to be a little crazy in terms of travel this year.  This trip leaves on June 6th which is the day after Kazapalooza. I'm one of the planners so I have to be there.  Just got to figure out if I fly straight from Fl to China or go home first.

Minor details.

The bigger challenge is I'm going to India in May for business (and hopefully a day visiting an orphanage there) and I have already committed to another **wonderful** orphan ministry trip to Kazakhstan with Two Hearts for Hope in September.


Dust off the passport.

Pack the Imodium.

Let the Asian Orphan Tour commence!



My girlfriend teased that I will be on my own Eat, Pray, Love adventure


"without the eating or the hot guy".


I assured her I would be eating.



Anyway that's what I'm up to today.

Click the banner, I promise it won't bite.

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Heartwarming Responses

Over the past couple of days so many beautiful families have stepped forward to share their special needs adoption story. 

I wanted to share as many as I could with all of you.


 In addition to the families included in the comments section of my original post titled, "What is a Special Needs Child" here is a  listing blog links with more special needs kids.



Enjoy the faces of Special Need Adoption:


Living This Crazy Amazing Life

Treasured Pearls

Getting Lucy

love.laugh.learn.grow.

Our Happily Ever After

Dragons and Elephants

Walking On Sunshine

Wild Rice Bunch

Just a "Min"ute Mom

Mike and Diane and Tribe

Hope, Love and Unexpected Joy

I Am What I Do

In the Waiting Adoption

Ni Hao Y'all

Drawing Maps of China

Only the Size of a Mustard Seed!


On another timely note, yesterday morning the TODAY SHOW featured the Twietmeyer's a wonderful family with 7 bio kids plus 6 more children adopted from Africa, oh yeah and two of them have HIV.

After clicking onto all those great blogs would you mind one more click click clickity click?

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Annual Assault on my Self Esteem

Search Amazon.com Apparel for swimsuit

How about none of the above?



We are going on a  Caribbean cruise in less than two weeks so this weekend I buckled down and finally made the dreaded trip out to the mall for a swimsuit.

Now in case you don't know I live in Northeast Ohio.  Where the sun shines approximately two days each year. And after a long, cold, snowy, seemingly never-ending winter.

I have to tell you people...


I am WHITE...pasty, ghostly, vitamin D deficient WHITE.

And I'm just saying... WHITE makes EVERYTHING looks BIGGER.

(except my boobs,  apparently.)


Now I know this is vain and shallow stuff

(certainly not on par with the plight of orphans around the world)

and at nearly 45 I should be over it.

What can I say except

Guilty.


After hours at the mall (which I hate by the way) I was left sweating and disheveled from trying on every suit Nordstroms, Dillards and Saks 5th Ave had to offer.

One after the other each suit failed to deliver on the promise to miraculously transform away inches from my tummy while magically adding them back to my bust.

Liars.


So I came home without a new suit.

Which is just as well since I have at least two dozen swimsuits of every color and design already in my drawer.

The pathetic result of prior quests to find that perfect, mind and body altering suit that transforms me into a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model,  (only way better cause I'm like totally smart and nice and a super cool mommy too).


You see I am vain, shallow AND optimistic too!

I believe there is a magic suit out just waiting for me to discover

Some day.

(cue Judy Garland for "Somewhere over the Rainbow".)



***Update***


I just ordered a new suit on line.

I have a good feeling... this might be the one!

 I believe in miracles like the perfect swimsuit and making it to # 4  on top mommy blogs.  
Help keep me there by clicking the big flashy button!

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What is a "Special Needs" Child?

 Sadly this how waiting children with special needs are often seen...

Girl, 2yrs, non verbal, strabismus, TB positive/exposed, orphanage related delays, background issues to consider

or

Girl, 4yrs, 8/2006, cleft lip, cleft palate repaired, possible thalassemia


but THIS is WHO they are...

Adorable two year old spitfire, loves to accessorize, talks and giggles non stop and can't get enough tickles.

Four year old charmer, bright, loving and sensitive.  She lights up the room with her smile and melts your heart with her sweet kisses.

These are MY perfect to me children but I'm not alone.

I didn't just get lucky.

Right now there are beautiful, loving children WAITING

for a family to love them.


They are not broken, or too old, or second best.

In fact they are

Perfect.

Once you see past the label. 



I am inviting readers to share their special needs adoption stories.

Leave a comment or link to your story.

Show us the real ** BEAUTIFUL**  face of special needs adoption.

 Keep voting...I want the whole world to know about the incredible joy of adoption!

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Form a Family or Save a Child?

This post is written in response to an article written on China Adopt Talk titled Aging Out in an Orphanage.  I started out writing a comment on her blog but it got long and then I worried she wouldn't publish it anyway.

If you didn't read the whole article basically the theme was, prospective parents should not and in fact are not "saving" orphans when they adopt a child from China because if THEY didn't adopt the child, someone else would.

Not sure I get the logic.


ADOPTION DOES SAVE ORPHANS.

No it does not solve the root causes that have created the orphan epedemic but there is no arguement that once a kid is orphaned adoption is the cure.

I think what she really means is "saving" children is a improper motivation for a person to choose adoption, (she even goes so far as to suggest it is a primary cause of disrupted adoptions. It's not.). According to RQ the only acceptable motive to adopt is to "form your family".

But what if both motivations, forming a family and saving an orphan are present?

I already feel the flames coming so let me say right now that I understand the concern about the potentially negative impact on children who grow up to view themselves as charity cases needing to be "saved".

It is valid.

I am sensitive to that and I agree we need to be hyper protective of our kid's self esteem.

But there is a difference between my personal motivation to adopt and how I discuss adoption with our children.

I wanted to grow (form) my family and in the process I "saved" a child.

That worked for me.

I had three biological sons. I could still get pregnant. I chose to adopt.

My personal rational was I wanted to parent daughters. And, I didn't like being pregnant. AND I felt good about parenting a child who really needed me.

So I grew my family through adoption and in the process I most certainly "saved" my daughters from a bleak existence.


And that fact is not lost on me as I contemplate a third adoption. 

Would someone else have adopted my girls? 

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Are you willing to play that sort of roulette with your children?

Besides just because someone else MIGHT have adopted (saved) my girls doesn't change the fact that I did. I'm not putting on the “we did save her crown" and I need no accolade or prize beyond the joy of being their mom. I'm just keeping it real.

Personally I don't think many people adopt to "save" children without primarily wanting to grow their families.  There are simply too many other ways to help the plight of orphans if "saving" is the only motive.

And I don't believe that just because "saving a child" was part of my motivation to adopt that I am a lesser parent or I have undermined the strength of my family in some way.

And thank goodness for these "save the children" people that RQ is so offended by. I say we need more of them!

Because while currently there seems to be a long line of potential adoptive parents in China,

The "competition" to adopt waiting children in China wasn't always the case.  Not long ago these kids would remain in orphanages or be rejected by adoptive parents for the most minor of imperfections.

I wonder how many of us would still be in line if all those who are motivated by "saving" a child stepped out of queue?

How much competition to adopt SN babies in China would there be then?

And while China is the focus here, let's not forget that there are 143,000,000 orphans in the world (the US foster care system included) and not nearly enough families (of any motivate) willing to adopt.

I cast no judgment on anyone wanting to adopt a child from any program, anywhere.


In my book "saving" an orphan (if that is the perception) is noble not narcissistic.

As far as I'm concerned if your motive stems from; your faith, humanitarianism, infertility, desire for a specific gender, or plain ole longing to parent then God bless you!  There is a kid out there who needs you.

And whether you feel like you saved a child or not,  I promise, YOU will be saved in the process.

Before you flame me, throw me a vote would ya?

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