Ever Noticed How Moms with New Babies Start Talking About Pee?…It’s sort of like that.

 April 20, 2012

I’m sitting in the airport waiting to board a flight to LaGuardia. I have a meeting in the city today and I’m going to sneak in a quick visit with my best friend/little sister. Yay!

Even though I’m a little torn because it’s really early to have a night away from the Butterfly my hubby and I agreed, I need a break. 

I mean I REALLY NEED a break.

My sister eager to rehab and rejuvenate me asked what I wanted to do.

Do? Do?? The word sort of rattled around my head not finding a place to land.

I didn’t want to DO anything. 

Then I thought harder.  What have I been missing?  How would I like to spend 18 hours without work, house or kids?

And so,  I came up with this (pathetic) list.

1.     I want to pee.  Alone.  Uninterrupted.  No conversations through the door or permission slips sliding under it.  No little helper standing ready to pass me the toilet paper. 90 seconds of complete privacy.  

2.     I want to eat a meal without someone sitting on my lap or using my fork… in a place that does not have crayons or boxed meals packaged with a toy…there should be no play area other than the bar.

3.     I want a cup of coffee I can drink all the way to the bottom BEFORE it is cold. Ideally there will be no speaking during the first cup of said coffee.

4.     I want a mani-pedi which hasn’t happened since right before I left for China, which is gross. I could hurt someone.

5.     Maybe if I feel a blast of energy I’ll go into a mall, walk right past Gymboree and into the Nordstrom’s shoe department where I can try on outrageously high-heeled shoes and ridiculously impractical platform sandals. (I mean I’ll probably get another pair of Merrell’s or a fancy FitFlop but you never know.  Jimmy Choo’s and strollers could work.)

6.     And if I'm really feeling crazy, I might even have a glass of wine and not worry if it makes me sleepy because when I do feel sleepy I’m going to… WAIT FOR IT…WAIT FOR IT….SLEEP….without a small furnace attached to me, bulldozing me off the bed.  And do you know when I'm going to wake up?  WHEN I’M DONE SLEEPING.  Ahhh  the sick decadence of sleeping till 8am.  I can hardly stand it.

And honestly that’s it for me, other than having the wonderful grown up, girl friend conversation and laugh fest I always have with my sister, that’s all I want…all I think I can even handle.

I thought about reading or writing and a few other more productive things I could do with my 18-hour mommy pass. Livin la vita loco it’s not, but when I really got down to it, when I think about what I’ve really missed these past weeks…

I would really just like to be alone when I pee.
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