Not for the Post Placement Report
January 31, 2011
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4 days ago
Prayers & Tears
January 28, 2011
I guess I owe you an update on China II (you've come with me this far after all) but honestly I'm not sure what to say other than this has been very difficult week. I really can't go into too much detail mostly because I'm too much of an emotional basket case and it's all still too painful to deal with but mostly because it's simply private. Yup that's right actual boundaries: I do have a few. I will share that I have fallen in love with a darling six year old girl who has hypoplastic left heart syndrome. I would very much like to make her my daughter (and honestly I feel strongly she IS my daughter) but for now all I can do pray...and buy more Kleenex.
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Top Mommy Blogs
January 23, 2011
Hey Thanks, we got into the TOP 25!.... (#15 out of 1,200 blogs) and we're the #1 adoption blog! Cool. Fun. Neato.
But I'm over it.
Really as amusing as that was, I write for myself not a top mommy blog ranking. I figure one day when I'm old(er) and loosing (more of) my faculties I can read about the incredible mundane-nous of my life. (And oh, it is incredible.) It's that or scrabbooking and trust me that ain't happening.
So go ahead and click if you like but I promise no more cheesy solicitations.
Vote for My Blog
January 22, 2011
I don't win anything except maybe bragging rights. And it doesn't cost you anything except a few seconds (and let's face it -if you're already here you must have a little bit of time to spare). So please go ahead and click the banner to cast a vote for me. Five Of My Own was just listed 4 days ago and it's already moved to #514 out of 1,186 blogs. I'm sort of curious to see how far up the list we can go!
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New Year Resolution Update
January 20, 2011
A couple of weeks ago I was home alone with them and I made the decision to go cold turkey, hard core, mean mom on them. Normally we would go through this exaggerated routine; bath, snack, books, songs, then laying with them until they fell asleep. Yes you heard me for the past 8 months either Dart or I would get in bed with them until they fell asleep. Sometimes it would take more than an hour. Sometimes we fell asleep with them! In the beginning it was to transition Macy who was accustomed to the Chinese way of sleeping family style and to foster good attachment. After a while it was just the path of least resistance. I'm not proud of that but when you have five kids including a newly adopted child, you do what you have to do to make it through the day (or night).
But is had to end.
Not sure why but that night was THE night. I told the girls all evening about what we were going to do. "Mommy is going to tuck you in, kiss you good night and leave. You are big girls who can sleep all by yourselves". In theory they were all for being big girls, in practice they screamed and cried like they were being tortured. I expected this. My girls were four years old and I was doing infant sleep training. It's not like I haven't been around that block before, so I got out some headphones, plugged them into my ipod, poured myself a glass of wine and simply waited them out.
It actually didn't take them very long, maybe 35 or 40 minutes (I was dug in for MUCH worse). I went in to reassure them that I was still there maybe two or three times and then shock of shocks, it was quiet. They were asleep. The next morning they were both beaming with pride about sleeping in their big girl beds. Then even better, the next night there was NO crying at all.
Two weeks later we are in a wonderful routine. The girls have bath time followed by a snack and potty time and then we go up to bed. I tuck them in, kiss them goodnight and shut the door. They are generally in bed by 7:30 and asleep by 7:45. It's absolutely amazing! And now that we are though this I remember how important it is to have kids go to bed easily and at a decent hour. We have our lives back!
I'm off to a great start with the 2011 goals and feeling pretty darned proud of myself. Who knows, I might get into those size 4 jeans after all...nawh. Read more...
China II, Round Two
January 19, 2011
and file number two under review. I'm just saying....she's really cute.
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Good News, Bad News...
January 17, 2011
but really it's all good news.
We received a file for a beautiful little girl in China last week. Yeah we don't waste any time. She was almost 6 and had cerebral palsy. She had been waiting on the shared list for many months by the time we got the file. We asked for some more information about her medical condition and today we heard back. What a shock, she has been adopted domestically by a family in China! Honestly it's hard to feel bad about that. As much as I am a supporter of international/interracial adoption I do feel that a domestic adoption that allows a child to grow up with her own culture and language is best.
By the way, does that say something about the changes going on in China...a 6 year old, GIRL with cererbral palsy adopted by a Chinese family, wow.
Adopt China II
January 16, 2011
Towards the end of last year China made some changes in their special needs adoption program. Among the changes was the creation of a classification of waiting children called "Special Focus". These are children who have been on the special needs waiting child listing for at least 2 months or kids who are deemed from the outset as especially hard to place. The other big change is families who have adopted from China in the past year have up to one year from their last adoption to reuse their dossier (adoption paperwork) to adopt a "special focus" child. Although the changes occurred last fall, I didn't learn about them until just recently when another adoptive mom and friend mentioned it to me quite by chance at a party. She assumed I already knew because apparently EVERYONE in the China SN world does...last again.
Well better late than never. I contacted our agency the next day and confirmed that we will in fact be able to reuse our dossier if we are matched with a child by May 31, 2011.
Learning about this change felt like a sign from above. Over the past several months we have been trying to decide if we should adopt again and if so if we should return to Kazakhstan or China. By far China SN was an easier, smoother and far less stressful program than Kazakhstan and on the surface an obvious choice. But, there were compelling reasons to consider a return to Ust Kamenogorsk. The truth is I had been paralyzed by indecision until now. But now I feel an incredible sense of clarity and peace and almost at the same moment it seems Dart's heart is once again wide open. So we will not return to Kazakhstan and we will return to China....maybe. IF we are lucky enough to be matched by May 31, 2011 then we will take it as a sign that it was meant to be. If not, then it wasn't and we're ok with that too.
So that's Adopt China II. A definite maybe... a little bit paper pregnant?? Only time will tell but we will not stress either way. The one thing adoption has taught us is none of this, nothing in this life really, is ours to control. It was a painful lesson to learn but we did, and once again we're putting it in His hands. Read more...
Backyard Pond Hockey
January 12, 2011
This afternoon Nolan's entire peewee hockey team showed up at our house for an old school pond hockey scrimmage.
The kids seemed to have lots of fun skating, shooting the puck and even shoveling snow-which they had to do several times as it snowed the whole time they were out there. My super hockey dad husband set up a make shift locker room in our lower level, cranked up the out door speakers and even had a nice backyard fire going. Everything a hockey player could ask for right? I thought it was brutally cold but the kids played for hours.
When it was finally too dark to see the puck anymore the kids came in for hot chocolate and cookies while they thawed their rosy cheeks and wet feet. Got to admit it was a fairly perfect cold weather afternoon.
Sometimes the frigid Midwest has its moments...
Hiyah!
January 11, 2011
Don't mess with the Printy girls...
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| Hiyah, we did it! |
In case you wondered...there are two belt tests to get from white belt to yellow belt. The first grading gives you a yellow stripe on your white belt (this is what the little's now have) and is half-way to yellow belt. Then the second grading gives you a full yellow belt. The white belt represents innocence, as in no knowledge of taekwondo. The yellow belt represents the earth: in which the roots of taekwondo form ready for a beautiful plant to grow. Sounds lovely but....
all the girls really want to do is flip their brothers onto the floor.
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| Don't mess with my tough girls! |
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| Pow, Bam, Boom |
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| Eye of the Tiger |
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| still little miss sunshine |
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| Shy but proud |
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| Macy receives her half yellow belt |
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| perhaps one of the smallest waists he's ever tied |
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| great bow Nina Bea |
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| boys... you're in trouble now |
Going Back to Kazakhstan
January 10, 2011
I couldn't say anything sooner because it would have ruined the surprise for Kiefer (it was his birthday gift from us) but Kiefer and I will be returning to Kazakstan this fall with Two Hearts for Hope a wonderful non-profit organization that is doing amazing things for the orphans in Kazakhstan. As part of "2 Hearts 2 Kaz Team 2011" we will travel to Taraz, Kazakhstan to build and replace 100 beds in the Ulan Children’s Home. At a time when Kazakhstan adoption is at a virtual standstill the need is more great than ever!
You might recall that in September I "ran" my first 5k race and in doing so helped raise money to purchase the beds for this particular project. Back then I wasn't thinking I would actually travel to Kazakhstan to install the beds, much less that I would be able to share the experience with my dear son, but I am thrilled it has worked out this way. When I started talking to my family about possibly going on the mission trip Kiefer immediately asked if he could join me. (Can I just say, I love that this kid is searching for a way to have meaning in his life.) His interest cinched it for me.
Kiefer and I are tentatively scheduled to leave on or about September 22, 2011 for the 11 day trip to Taraz. Please keep us and the project in your thoughts and prayers.
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You might recall that in September I "ran" my first 5k race and in doing so helped raise money to purchase the beds for this particular project. Back then I wasn't thinking I would actually travel to Kazakhstan to install the beds, much less that I would be able to share the experience with my dear son, but I am thrilled it has worked out this way. When I started talking to my family about possibly going on the mission trip Kiefer immediately asked if he could join me. (Can I just say, I love that this kid is searching for a way to have meaning in his life.) His interest cinched it for me.
Kiefer and I are tentatively scheduled to leave on or about September 22, 2011 for the 11 day trip to Taraz. Please keep us and the project in your thoughts and prayers.
If you are unfamiliar with Two Hearts for Hope I encourage you to check out their website.
Two Hearts for Hope Mission Statement:
Proverbs 31:8 says "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute."
We believe God has called everyone to take care of the orphans. Our mission is to provide hope to the orphans of Kazakhstan through the donations we collect and the projects we organize. We believe by showing God's love, we are able to foster emotional and spiritual growth in these children. We believe that through our actions we exhibit the truth of the Gospel of Jesus. With God's guidance, our hope is to provide a better understanding of the plight of the orphans in Kazakhstan while providing the basic necessities these children lack.
We believe:- It is the responsibility of all God's children to take care of the orphans.- We are best able to provide for orphans.- Every orphan deserves something of their own.- Hope is a very powerful thing and with it, we can change lives
My Twenty Year Old Baby Boy
January 7, 2011
twenty things I love about you....
- You are smart. More than that you think.... in quirky, creative and wonderful ways.
- You make me laugh....you make the whole family laugh.
- You care about people, especially the underdog. Your preschool teacher called you her "nurturer".
- You write poetry. It's actually good.
- You believe in truth and justice and honor.
- You are willing to say you are sorry and to forgive too.
- You opened your heart to two sisters without reservation.
- You value love...you'll be a good husband and father one day.
- You can be joyful and you can be sad...it doesn't matter what I love is you are willing to feel it all.
- You are cute...Ok let's face it you're gorgeous.
- You secretly love your brothers.
- You have an artistic eye.
- You love history and politics and good grammar and philosophy and physics and you can discuss them all with conviction...you've done that since you were ten.
- You read the classics.
- You are athletic and graceful. I loved every minute I watched you skate.
- You think you will be a good dad...you say it out loud and with pride.
- You want to adopt children.
- You have a great voice...I love to hear you sing.
- You ASKED to go on a mission trip to work in an orphanage in Kazakhstan.
- YOU MADE ME A MOTHER. Perhaps one day you will understand, the moment you were born I was forever changed. My life became about you. It was the single most defining moment of my life.
Happy Birthday Kiefer. I honestly can't believe you are 20. It went by in the blink of an eye...
I love you more,
Mom
Kazapalooza 2011
January 5, 2011
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Where My Kids At!.....No Really Where My Kids AT?
January 3, 2011
I heard a comedian once joke that the minivan was a way to say to the rest of the world, (I'll clean this up)..."I never plan to get lucky again".
I love my mini van. There I said it. And I mean it, my mini van rocks!
Now I know a lot of you wouldn't be caught dead in one and truthfully I too was once a MV hater but with five kids I've got to say nothing beats it for convenience, comfort and all around practicality.
Of course I've been through my "I'm too cool to minivan" phase to be sure. In the past 10 years I've driven a BMW 3 series convertible (with a spoiler thank you very much) and a BMW SUV (my nod to my complaining kids who were being blown away in the back of the convertible) and then back to a BMW M Roadster (vroom, vroom drive THAT to the PTA meeting).
But when we started down the adoption path and faced the reality of transporting a family of seven with two kids still in car seats, I finally had to succumb to the "dreaded" minivan.
(BTW I considered doing what a lot of my similarly situated friends did to avoid the ridicule of the MV: I almost bought an SUV. But who are we kidding? You and I both know those are just people who need a MV but are "too cool" (read as too insecure) to buy one. Yeah, yeah, driving in the snow...whatever... be honest, the only off roading you do is when you drive over the curb trying to park at the mall. Guess some of us just have a little more self esteem. I digress.)
So just when I had completely resigned myself to the leagues of minivan driving supermoms and accepted my fate of being a chronically unhip soccer mom, Toyota goes and makes MV's ( and me) cool again. (OK if you are sneering at my Sienna being cool you and your turbo engine can leave.)
Yes my minivan is no longer a shameless concession to a life filled with cheerios and diaper bags. It is (drum roll please) my SWAGGER WAGON, complete with it's own rap. Dig it.
I am PROUD to drive my Swagger Wagon to the kid's schools, to the hockey games and ballet lessons, to the grocery store and to work AND to the hottest night clubs in town (once I figure out where they are).
I do not need a sports car to be cool.
My Swagger Wagon makes a statement...it tells the world I have kids-LOTS of KIDS (see the stick figure family on the back windshield-yeah they're ALL MINE).
It lets everyone (behind me) know I love Kazakhstan and China and Cyclone's Hockey and Brown University and the University of Akron too.
Try to get your Porshe to do all that!
I'm glad Toyota is getting the message out that Swagger Wagons are cool. In fact I was so inspired that today I ordered this final bit of flair for my own sweet ride...
And just for the record SWAGGER, SWGR WGN, SWAGWAG, and a bunch more were already taken so I am clearly not the only minivaner proud to be Swaggin my Wagon!
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Resolutions...
January 1, 2011
My 2011 New Year Resolutions
1.
<insert cricket chirp>
<more crickets chirping>
Well after 20 minutes that’s how far I got. Nothing, nada, zero. I guess I could say I will lose weight, that’s a popular one. But how would that be different from just about every Monday morning when I step on the scale? I thought about a vow to run a half marathon (which really I’m going to do) but I think that was last year’s resolution so no good for 2011. Bad enough to break your resolution but the same on two years in a row, well that’s just pathetic (but really I’m going to run it this year). Maybe I need to think beyond myself, past my waistline and limited lung capacity…nahw that’s crazy talk. That’s what New Year Resolutions are, a chance to take stock in yourself and set goals for how you want to live the next year.
Ok so let’s try this again; here is how I want to live in 2011…
1. I want to sleep more (how’s that for ambitious?). I know it looks like nirvana over here but I’ve got a secret, I’m EXHAUSTED. Now to get the sleep I crave I first need to get the girls (you know who you are) OUT OF MY BED!!!!! No more sneaking in at 2am and laying perpendicular between me and daddy: kicking and squirming until the floor seems more appealing to me. I spent a small fortune decorating a perfect little bedroom for you, complete with your own beds to sleep in. STAY THERE!
2. I’m going on a family vacation this year….without the family. I miss my girlfriend getaways. I need them back. Yes I know I’m 44 and acting like a drunken co-ed on Spring break isn’t exactly becoming but guess what IT”S FUN. I hereby request a little more fun in 2011. Where my girls at? Are you ready to party?? Let’s get going! (of course you remember that I prefer the Four Seasons and I can’t really drink more than two glass of wine and I need to be in bed by 11 right?) OK, PAAAAAR—TY!!!!
3. Screw work and family balance (that’s so 90’s anyway), I need MORE. No not the ever elusive “me” time, I need more than even that. I need a passion. I need to find one or one needs to find me! Now accepting applications for the position of Lori’s passion. Maybe it will be charity work, that would be noble or it might be stamp collecting (ok probably not stamp collecting), the point is I need something of my own that feeds my soul and allows me to express the creative energy and talents I have (well I think I have them). This will be the hard one since I tend to be a little ADD, jumping from one shiny idea to the next. A true passion, I'm guessing, should hold my attention for more than a week. I see myself as an artist with no particular talent mind you but an artist none the less. There must be something, someway to express myself (beyond coordinating outfits for Nina and Macy). Let’s call this my stretch goal for 2011.
So there you have it my ideal 2011…sleep, party, and discover my passion: probably not much different than my teenagers ideal 2011. Not saying much I suppose about my own personal growth over the past two decades but hey it’s honest.
Happy New Year everyone… here’s wishing you your own version of an ideal life in 2011.
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