Nana has left the building

Apparently convinced now that Dart and I are doing an adequate job of caring for her dear granddaughter, Nana headed back to South Carolna this morning. She arrived here January 31st. Last night she said to me "I hope I didn't overstay my welcome". No. No way. Come on Mom it was only 30 days:)!

I'm just kidding, really Nana was a great help and it was actually nice to have her here without it being a hectic family event. Just living everyday, doing a whole lot of nothing and enjoying each other's company. When does an adult daughter get to do that with their mother? I consider myself very lucky to have had this time with my mother.

By the way Nana did manage to get those Striderites for Nina. A pink and white sneaker and a "proper" white walking shoe.


***don't tell my mother this but in the time it took me to write this post, Nina somehow managed to dump out every bit of salt and pepper in the shakers onto the kitchen floor. Oooops.

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Blog Redesign in Progress...

Using images by Natali Design at Studio Girls

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She practices everyday...

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mundaneness - ordinariness: the quality of being commonplace and ordinary

I was recently prompted by a friend to update my blog..."it's been feral child for long enough" she teased. I agree and frankly that picture freaks me out!!

I am starting to understand why my favorite blogs were no longer updated once the adoptive family came home. It used to make me nutty. I mean I hang on their every word, oooh and ahhh over their child’s photos, send my good wishes and supportive comments and then… wham… they drop off the face of the earth. My God are they ok, were they so traumatized by the trip home that they lacked the strength to type? For goodness sake I, your loyal blog stalker, need to know!

The obvious answer is they have less time to spend on a computer but another possible reason is there is just less to blog about. Adopting a child from half way around the world, now that’s interesting. That same child peeing in the potty, not so much.

I don’t want to sound like I am not enjoying my new addition, far from it, she is an absolute joy. I’m just noting that things are rather mundane at the moment, (again not complaining).

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Feral Child at Local McDonald's Play Land

I usually go home at lunchtime to spend an hour with Nina and then put her down to her nap. Today though Dart was out running a few errands and decided he and Nina would pick me up at the office and take me out to lunch. So where do you luncheon with a two year old? At the local Mickey D’s with the human Habitrail playground of course.

Now clearly we did not go to McDonald’s for the culinary experience. Although they have added salads, yogurt and apples to the menu the food is still pretty gross. No matter we came to play. Nina upon seeing the brightly colored plastic tubes immediately ran to the shoe cubby and started taking her off her boots. How the heck did she know to do that? No time to figure it out, she is off to join the other screaming banshees.

Then it happened. Nina is assaulted: pushed, shoved and smacked down by a rather large and aggressive 20-month-old boy. I resisted my immediate urge to leap across the table and pin the little bully to the floor and instead I played it cool. I smiled at the mother of the boy, giving her a sort of it’s ok I’m a chill-mom nod. I figure that is it but it is not. A few minutes later, the same boy starts grabbing Nina by her dress twisting it and pulling her down. Then he reached over and smacked her across the face leaving a welted scratch across her cheek. A little less ‘chilled”, I looked over at his mother. She does nothing. What the heck lady is this your kid or some feral child who lives in the habitrail tubes and eats cold French fries? Get over here and get your kid under control, bring his meds, get his leash! I am mommy hear me roar!!

Ok the truth is I didn’t roar at all. Instead, we put Nina’s boots back on, Purelled the heck out of her and headed home. Live to fight another day.

I know one day Nina won’t be the innocent victim. She will have her turn to be the hitter, bitter, pincher. Such is the circle of life on the playground. I just hope I’m the kind of mother who puts down her Big Mac long enough to teach her kid that it’s not nice make the other children bleed.

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Say Cheese

Nina had her first formal portrait done today. We didn't get all the poses we wanted because she was scared by the flashes and camera equipment. That's pretty typical for Nina though. She seems to be afraid of anything new - first time equals fright time. By the time she experiences something for the second time she seems to be completely in control. By the next portrait sitting I'm sure she'll be putting Tyra Banks to shame.

Sweet & Shy...did I mention I am head over heels in love with this little cherub?

All Smiles...Nina can be so silly. Her smiles make me feel like a good mom. The necklace is from Tiffany (blue box and all). My friend Lisa sent it with a card that read, "one heart for the mother who gave you life, one heart for the mother who will teach you to live it"

Not too Sure...Other times she can be so serious. You can tell she is taking it all in, learning constantly. We think she is brilliant.

Little Miss Pouty Pout...Of course she is two and not afraid to prove it!

Kissable Cutie...to us she looks so much younger than 25 months old. This week she started giving real baby kisses; wet and wide open mouth! It's fine with us though we want her to stay a baby for as long as possible.

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Adopt Kazakhstan: Nina Beatrice

The Bee

Born December 25, 2006

Ust-Kamenogorsk, Kazakhstan

  Meetcha November 3, 2008

Home Forever January 7, 2009

Our Adoption Time Line

12/18/2007...Home Study Update Visit for Kazakhstan.

12/20/2007...Filed I-824, to change from China to Kaz.

1/2/2008...Sign Agency Agreement with Adoption ARK. another paper chase begins!

1/10/2008...Fingerprints sent for FBI clearance.

1/11/2008...New I-171H received. (Change of country

1/23/2008...FBI clearance received.

2/2/2008...Home Study Update received.

2/5/2008...Dossier to Adoption ARK

2/7/2008...AA informs us that we need additional copies

2/12/2008...recv returned dossier from AA

2/13/2008...Corrected Submission to Adoption ARK

2/14/2008...AA reveives dossier for 2nd time.

2/15/2008...Dossier is sent for Translation

3/3/2008...Translation is complete and dossier is now sent for review by AA attorney (this is a new step in the process following a suspension in the DC Embassy)

3/24/2008...AA Attorney requested additional changes to dossier, including a minor change on our homestudy.

4/1/2008...Sent additional information/changes for dossier via overnight mail.

5/1/2008...Dossier sent to the Kazakhstan Embassy in Washington, DC

5/23/2008...Dossier Approved by the Embassy.

5/27/2008...Dossier to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs (this week).

6/19/2008...Dossier to the Ministry of Education.

7/16/2008...Assigned to Ust-Kamenogorsk region

10/9/2008...The Call!! Agency notifies us there is a healthy 21 mo old girl who needs a family! To which we respond YES, YES, YES!

10/13/2008...LOI Recieved

11/1/2008...1st trip

11/3/2008...Meet The Bee! (first bonding day)

11/26/2008...Court

11/27/2008...Home (first trip total 27 days)

12/12/2008...Adoption Decree issued

12/21/2008...2nd trip

12/23/2008...Gotcha!!!!!!!

1/7/2009...Home Forever (second trip total 17 days)

Our Kazakhstan Adoption Agency

Adoption Ark 

830 S. Buffalo Grove Road #103
Buffalo Grove, IL 60089
T. (847) 215-2755
F. (847) 215-2757

Photos From Our 1st Trip to Kazakhstan

Photos From Our 2nd Trip to Kazakhstan

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Whatever Will Be, Will Be

Unless you have completely run out of things to read including cereal boxes and grocery store receipts, don’t bother with this post. This is mostly an attempt to organize my own mixed up thoughts about what to do next…

Sometimes I think it is easier when there are fewer choices. I find myself really struggling to decide how to proceed with another adoption or even if there should be one at all. The practical, reasonable side of me says” just slow down, don’t make any decisions yet”. But well I almost never pay attention to that side and it probably won’t be any different with this.


I had no doubt about a second daughter until this past Monday when we had our developmental assessment. Ironically the fact that Nina was healthy and on target in every area was what shook me. My God how could we have gotten so lucky? Seriously this child is so much more that we dared to hope for, she is perfect in every way. It is hard to imagine that lightening could strike twice.


I think I remember feeling this way about the boys. I had this weird sense that I was pushing the gods, playing against the odds. I mean the audacity of wanting three healthy boys; how presumptuous, how greedy can one be? And truth be told, I remember thinking how could I possible love a child as much as I love the one I already have?


This time though I am also contending with trying to predict the future of International Adoption. Do we stay with China? Today marks 17 months since we logged into China. My agency says we can expect a referral sometime towards the end of 2010, so about 2 years. Is that true? Who knows but the odds are it’s not. The families getting referrals this month waited 36 months and nothing in the China program seems to suggest the timeline is speeding up. The 2 year projection from my agency is in my opinion baseless and leaves me with little confidence in anything they say. If it is 2 or even 3 years from now we could request to adopt an older toddler so she and Nina would be close in age. I could see us with a 4 and 5 year old-that would work. But to put my hopes into this very unpredictable program seems more than just a little risky.


Then there is the option of adopting again from Kazakhstan. My KZ agency is claiming the program is moving without delay but again that does not match up with what I am reading on the list serves. It looks like there are waits just to submit to the Embassy in DC and getting thru the NY Consulate looks ugly. Then there is that long and difficult trip in KZ. I am not sure that is a good thing to put the kids thru again. If we did go I would prefer not to travel until the summer of 2010 and that timeframe seems doable.


I guess the good news is I do have choices and really none of them is a bad choice. Que sera sera, that's how I should be right? It is my own compulsive need to have a plan, work the plan, and achieve the goal that is making me crazy. Always looking ahead, always something to aspire to I guess- Dart calls it insatiable. Maybe he’s right.

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For Our Daughters

I did it. I just committed once again to walk in the Cleveland Breast Cancer 3 Day. I will be walking (60 miles) with team "For Our Daughters". If you want to check out our team blog just click the title of this post. Wish us luck!

*****

Last year I walked in my first ever 3-Day with Maria Douglas in our small but mighty team called “For Our Daughters”. Although neither Maria nor I have personally battled breast cancer we each had dear friends and family members who had. We knew we wanted to walk for them and also to walk for our daughters.


What an amazing experience. Maria ended up in a knee brace and I hobbled into the ER with blisters that seemed larger than my feet! Along the way I met some of the most determined and courageous woman I’ve ever known. I met one woman in tears struggling to complete the walk even though she had just finished her chemo treatment 12 weeks before. Another woman had walked in every 3Day event city in the country. Bystanders hugged us, thanked us, told us their mothers, sisters, wives were battling the disease. Even before we finished that walk I knew I would walk again the next year.


A year ago I walked on team “For Our Daughters” for the daughter I did not yet know. A child I only hoped to adopt one day. Today I have been blessed with the addition of a beautiful, healthy 2 year old baby. Nina has renewed and redoubled my commitment to help find a cure for breast cancer before she is old enough to even know what it is.


This year I walk, inspired by all whom I met last year, and for my dear daughter Nina.


PS: to all you nay sayers who thought I would walk but not sleep in the tent, you were wrong! I slept in the tent, used my pink Disney Princess flashlight, and even entered the dreaded port-a-potty! I’m not giving up my Four Seasons reservations just yet but it was kind of, sort of, fun.

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Party Details and more

It has been an eventful few days, where to begin... My sister Lisa arrived on Saturday. My Mother, Nina and I picked her up from the airport at noon. We went to lunch and did a little shopping-a perfect girl's afternoon.

Sunday was Nina's party. We had the party at a local Russian restaurant. We decided to have a traditional Russian menu including caviar, stuffed cabbage, blinis and vodka. We had a band that played/sang Russian music or at least music in Russian. Also we had a "build-a-bear" station for the kids that was very popular. We were touched by the response of our friends and family. We had more than 100 people join us in celebrating the arrival of our dear daughter.

One special guest was Becki Stone. PAP and fellow blogger. (I have added her to my "friends I've met" sidebar) Becki was a wonderful supporter and cheerleader during our adoption. It turned out we live near each other. It was so cool to finally meet her in person, she is just as sweet and positive in person. She is working hard to bring her baby boy home and I can't wait until we can have some KZ play dates for our KZ kids.

And life continues after the party...
Today we had our visit by the "Help Me Grow" developmental assessment team. We were pleased to hear what we already knew, Nina has no developmental delays. In fact she is either on target or ahead of target for her age. Even in language, where she is speaking English as a second language, she is on level. With 50 English words now she is actually on the high end of language achievement (so they tell us). Her fine and gross motor skills measure above age level. Everything else is "on target". Pretty amazing given that she was in orphanage care for 16 month. Based on all we read we fully expected to see a 6 month or so delay. (It looks like Nina's only area of concern is her small size,(she is still the size of an average American 1 year old). Also her TB test is coming back abnormal but she does not show any sign of disease and we have chosen to retest in 6 months. )

PS-oh yes life continues after the party... let us not miss this one...this afternoon, my trainer called me to see how the adoption went and find out when I would be back in the gym. Hmmmm, I'll check my schedule??? He says if he doesn't hear from me tonight, he will be calling me back tomorrow. Crap, a stalker.

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Nina's Big Bash

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

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Sensitive Male

Dart just suggested that I might want to have eight embryos implanted in my uterus....I suppose that would be easier than adopting.

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just between you and me...

OK I know this will sound a little crazy and probably way too premature but we are already talking about going back to Kazakhstan for a sister for Nina. Although we are still logged into China that adoption feels like a long shot. China is moving very slowly and we are aging very quickly. I think it will be another 2-3 years before we might have a referral from China. I want to have our girls close in age and I do not want to be chasing a toddler in 5 years, (it's already tough).

We spoke with our agency this week and had some preliminary discussions about timing and age requests. We are being told that the process in 2009 is much smoother than 2008. Is that true? What's the sense from my fellow PAP's?? If the wait is a year then getting our dossier started now seems to make sense. That's about the right timing I think.

What do you guys think. Has anyone jumped back in so quickly? What's the real wait going forward in Kazland?

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I like shoes

A few pics to show my mother's influence on Nina...

We were supposed to be shopping for a hair bow to match Nina's party dress. Somehow we ended up on a shopping spree at Lilly Pulitzer and Janie & Jack's. On the way home I mentioned to my Mom that I've found lots of cute shoes at Target. She was aghast, "what no Striderite"? No use defending myself. She went on to say she would be bringing Nina to Striderite and that I could put her in her Target shoes on the days I planned to carry her!

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