Foster Mother

 April 19, 2010

I had a really tough day on Friday. The wait for Macy has reached a near unbearable state. It seems that we are falling into every possible crack in the system. The latest was a series of events that led to a delay in the delivery of our Article 5. Normally that should be two weeks and instead ours took four weeks. Thank goodness the only thing left is to get our TA (travel approval). This is like the LOI in KZ adoption. Once we have that we will book flights and arrive in China within 3 weeks. Theoretically I could get my TA any day now and based on my prior calculations I should get it tomorrow. I think tomorrow is going to be tough day.

So on Friday I pretty much cried and vented to Stephanie at my agency. There isn’t much anyone can really do but she was very sweet and sympathetic. Apparently the Printy’s are at the top of the discussion list as we have waited (to the tune of months) longer than any other family in their China program. Apparently our name is on a sticky note affixed to the travel coordinators computer! (sigh)

One thing I did ask for is an update on Macy. The last info we have aside from three photos in December, is dated May 2009. I can’t even imagine how much might have changed in nearly a year. Anyway this morning I got confirmation that the orphanage Director is going to contact the foster mother for an update. Hopefully I will have that soon. But, I did find out that I will definitely be meeting the foster mother when we meet Macy. The “handoff” will be direct from Foster Mom to Forever Mom.

Wow can you imagine? This woman has had Macy since she was six months old-more than 3 years! I started thinking that is about the age most of us KAP’s met our kz kiddos. (Six months is the generally the youngest age right?) Then I think about the bond we have today with our children. I mean can you even get your head around having to give your child to another woman? I surely cannot. There is something truly special about people willing to foster a child.

I am a little worried since I have no idea what this particular foster mother’s expectations were. Remember Macy is among the first kids from her region to be adopted. Perhaps this FM never expected this day to come? Perhaps under the one child policy this was her only opportunity to parent a daughter. OR, perhaps she is an absolute pro and has worked to emotionally prepare Macy for the transition. There is no way to know until I walk into the room a few weeks from now.

Today I ordered a locket for this dear woman. Not much of a trade huh, a scrap of metal for a beautiful child, but of course it is not meant to be transactional. I just wanted to try to capture the bond we have together, we two mother’s to Macy. The locket is engraved on the front with Macy’s English name, “Macy Lisabel Liping”. On the inside is an engraved photo of Macy with her FM and a message that reads, “Blessed by the love of two mothers”.

Ok now enough of the melancholy…we are getting closer. Perhaps tomorrow will bring TA and if not it surely will be soon. We went out for Chinese last night and my fortune cookie said I would soon have good news to share with loved ones. So there you have it. As we all know the fortune cookie doesn’t lie!

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