Can't get anything past you...

 April 7, 2010

I have to admit I was a little surprised that so many of you noticed the changes on the blog yesterday. I am getting ready for a blog redesign and have been busy setting up new pages and links but of course that is not what was noticed. Yes we have added a link called “India” and here is the long story on that…

Late last summer I began to search in earnest for Nina’s sister. I was convinced that an adoption in China might not happen for us and I began to look at other programs. Having already made the choice to adopt a “special needs” child I focused on searching waiting child lists. I am not sure how I ended up on the website of this particular agency but I found myself reading a listing for a 14 month old baby girl with a heart condition. I knew nothing about India adoptions or this agency but somehow felt drawn to this child. That day, September 15, 2009, I sent an email inquiring about the baby.

Several days later I heard back from the agency that the baby, “Rupa” was still waiting for a family. I received some basic information and a photo. She was beautiful and immediately Dart and I set the adoption wheels in motion by getting our home study updated and fingerprints completed etc. In the meantime the agency did their part to try to get an unofficial pre approval from the orphanage. I checked in with them every few days but there seemed to be one delay after another. Finally we got the word on October 21, 2009 that we would be permitted to adopt Rupa. For those of you who have followed our story closely you might notice that October 21 is also the day we received a referral for Macy. Quite literally 2 hours after learning we could adopt Rupa we got “the call” (after a 3 year wait I might add) for Macy!

We had a gut wrenching decision to make. We wanted them both but could not imagine how that could be possible. After vesting three years of emotional energy in China we decided this was the right choice for us. Macy was everything we could have hoped for and in my heart I knew she was always intended for us. There was no way we could not adopt Macy. We took comfort in the knowledge that the baby in India had several families wanting to adopt her. I set about consoling myself with the adoption mantra that I was “releasing her to find her forever family”.

Over the past five months as we have struggled to bring Macy home I have never faltered in my belief that we made the right choice but at the same time I never stopped thinking about the little girl with the big brown eyes in India. Did she have her family yet? Was she home? So one day last week I once again stumbled my way over to that agency’s website and perused the waiting child listings where I found myself reading about a child that sounded very familiar. Could it be? I emailed the agency and asked. Yes it was the same baby from five months ago still searching for her forever family. I was shocked and sad for her. How could this beautiful child not have found her family? And then it occurred to me that maybe she already had…five months ago.

Of course the “problem” was we were still trying to get Macy home, moreover there was my husband who had recently told me he had an “adoption vasectomy” and he could no longer sign papers! Also due to Rupa’s declining health and urgent need for medical attention the agency was very clear that they would match her with the first paper ready family to commit to her. So many obstacles but somehow I needed to try.

I started with my husband. The two of us went out to dinner and I nervously brought up the topic. “You are not going to like what I have to say” I started. Then I began to tell him about Rupa. Before I could even ask if he would consider adopting her he interrupted with a very determined “Let’s go get her”. I was stunned and started crying right there in the restaurant. Dart talked though my tears, “listen Lori; I’m not looking for more kids but if God puts a baby on my doorstep I am not closing the door”. (Have I mentioned how much I love this man?) So that was it, we agreed there were no sure things and we were ok with the unknown of it all. There are lots of challenges, mountains to move really but we agreed right then and there that we would try to bring Rupa home.

And that is what we are doing right now. I contacted our social worker the next morning and after a minor interrogation she has agreed to update our home study to allow for both Macy and Rupa. We could conceivably file an I800 for India within the week. But that is just one hurdle. The truth is I might get a call today telling me it isn’t possible. There might be another family ready to move more quickly. (We are at peace with this possibility because we know Rupa needs a family and medical attention as soon as possible.) Also it is possible that India may feel we have too many children in our family (I am sure they are not alone). Right now we are approaching it day by day, doing all we can within our power to make her our daughter but at the same time accepting that it is largely out of our control.

I am keeping a separate blog to capture the events surrounding our possible adoption of Rupa. For now it is just for me and I am not sending invites (Dart doesn’t even have on). I just need a place to get it all out. If we are fortunate enough to be permitted to adopt Rupa I will, at the right time, send out the invites. So stay tuned and please pray for both of our daughters who still have not found their way home.

OH yeah and just for the record after this we are done, done, done… minivan full, pocket book empty done. Unless I get that Partridge family bus and somebody in this family gets a record deal, then I might reconsider!

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