It's my turn (and it's a long one)

While we are in this excruciating holding pattern, I thought it would be a good time for my first post. I haven’t jumped in before mainly because I didn't want to taint the amazing work Lori has done with this site. But the time has come for me to pontificate as only my father’s son can do.
I feel I can answer the question I have heard (and asked myself) about adopting -“Can you love an adopted child as much as you do your biological children?” Absolutely, you can, and I do. Love is not a byproduct of pregnancy, labor pains, or Lamaze classes. Nor is love restricted to those you share a DNA profile with. In fact I have been surprised by how exactly the same it feels. Nina will soon have me wrapped around her little finger just as tightly as if she popped out of Lori in a delivery room. I just got to avoid cutting the umbilical cord (very over rated) and a whole lot of messy diapers.


When I am asked what Nina is like, the only thing I can say is that she is the daughter that you pray you will get when you start this whole process. She is not the child that you expect or fear you might find in an orphanage halfway around the world. Rather she is the child that I was afraid to dream of . I think what I have enjoyed the most while getting to know my new daughter was seeing how similar Nina is to Lori. She is intelligent, willful, stubborn, vulnerable, and by the end of our stay, happy.



For me, the upside to Nina being afraid of me at the beginning (and middle, and maybe the end) of our stay was that I got to watch Lori at work. And work she did. She hugged, carried, caressed, sang, talked, bounced, swung, kissed, played, and raspberried the sad right out of Nina. In less than 36 hours spread over 3 ½ weeks she was able to turn a terrified little orphan into OUR happy, playful little girl. She was amazing. Nina went from burying her face into Lori’s neck to avoid us, to jumping into Lori’s lap for tickles. Lori knew exactly what Nina needed, not just what she wanted. I know the nannies were worried that Nina’s crying would scare us off, but that was never going to happen. They obviously didn’t know Lori or they would have let her take charge of the entire place. While we were going through the bonding period the day-to-day changes in Nina were not always noticeable. But when I look back at the pictures, Nina looks like a completely different child. I am in awe of what Lori was able to do with her. I shouldn’t be surprised though. She is the center of our boys’ lives. They worship their mother. And they should. Her impact on their lives is immeasurable. Nothing scares me more than the thought of losing her and having to raise the kids by myself. The potential for disaster is enormous. They would emotional stunted, socially inept, and badly dressed. I don’t think Nina would ever be invited to a prom (that might work actually).


I have joked that the only orphans luckier than Nina were the kids adopted by Angelina Jolie and Madonna. But really I think Little Orphan Nina is the luckiest. While Angelina and Madonna may have more money and fame, they are not as beautiful nor could they possibly be as great a mother as my Lori. “Tomorrow. Tomorrow. The sun will come out tomorrow.” Our tomorrow is December 23rd. I can hardly wait.

Dart