Five of My Own: 2/1/12

Shoes-Just Ask

February 29, 2012

Shepherd's Field asked me to bring shoes...

I asked the Walmart manager for a discount...

And a stranger asked if he could help too...

A few days ago I got a list of supplies requested by the wonderful team at Shepherd's Field. The list included five pair of toddler shoes. So tonight I made a trip out to Walmart to get five pair of shoes.

I found the shoes but since they were not gender neutral I decided to get five boy pairs and five girl pairs. (Judging from the number of Chinese orphaned boys I've seen dressed head to toe in pink I know it probably didn't matter but it did to me.)

So I put ten pair of shoes in my cart and turned the corner to go check out and instead ran straight into another bin of sale shoes.

Why not? I mean seriously I think we've already establish I have a thing for shoes.

I started digging and found more of the style of shoes needed.

Before I knew it my cart looked like THIS.

I headed for the checkout lane to pay but then at the last second instead of going to a cashier I headed to customer service. I figured it couldn't hurt to ask if maybe, since I was buying so many, the manager would be willing to give me a discount.

The night manager came over and asked how he could help. "I'm going to China to adopt a child and I'm bringing these shoes to her orphanage and I wondered if you might be able to give me a discount?"

That's it no long explanation or sappy sad orphan story. I was hoping for 10%, just a token price cut and I was prepared for a big fat "NO".

He didn't even hesitate, "How about $2.50 a pair?"

Are you kidding that's awesome! THANK YOU!!

Sweet right?

It gets sweeter.

In the middle of paying for the shoes another man came up to me and asked "Did I hear you say you were buying these shoes for orphans?"

I smiled and nodded and told him I was.

He then handed me a $10 bill and said, "Here, let me buy a few pair of shoes too".

And that's when I lost it. Tears of joy and appreciation and love for all that is good and kind....IN WALMART.

It's not the 90% discount or the $10 donation that moved me but the fact that these men were so willing to help children in need. Let's face it we are in the middle of tough economic times and its easy to understand why they wouldn't/couldn't help, (particularly kids in another country) and yet they did.

So thank your Justin, Night Manager at the Streetsboro, Ohio Walmart for passing on a generous discount and thank you kind stranger for your spontaneous cash donation. Random acts of kindness rock and so do you.

A vote would be a very kind act indeed!

Too Much??

I mean anyone who knows me knows I love a good theme.

Kitsch? Me?? Always!

And since we have been calling her Butterfly for a VERY. LONG. TIME.

I'm wondering dearest reader what you think of this little ditty for me to wear on Gotcha day?

I mean NOT the shoes because they are just ridiculous.

PS 15 days...

Just Another Little Thing...

February 28, 2012

That Helps Me To Believe We Are Really Going to China!

Check Visa's for six off the list.

Yes I said SIX which probably doesn't make sense but really it does. Because.....the Little's are not going to China. Instead they are heading out for a two week Florida vacation with their grandparents. (And let me tell you they are THRILLED about that!)

And if the math still seems off it's because we are taking the three big boys plus a girlfriend.

Our official departure date is March 15th.

Visa's....CHECK.

Only about 900 things left to do.

Our Butterfly Knows...

February 25, 2012

While we have known FOREVER that she was our daughter, she just learned about us today....

We Have a Winner!!!!!!

February 24, 2012

And it's us!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As of 3:03pm today we have TRAVEL APPROVAL!

Also our TA pool winner is Amanda Vigale. Amanda you guessed my TA would come on February 24th at 2:45pm! Send me a message and let me know the charity you want to support.

SITUATION (ADOPTION) NORMAL

February 22, 2012

These days it’s hard for me to hang on to a thought for very long. Instead I am consumed with images of Butterfly Kisses! Mmmmmmm.

We are in the home stretch; the light is at the end of the tunnel, we are about to cross the finish line, victory is in sight…. what I am saying is…. we leave in 3 weeks!

Of course we still don’t have approval to travel, but TA----sha-me-A.... we are going anyway!

Actually I’m hoping my TA is pretty darned close to getting here (did you place your bet in my TA pool???) Someone with my same A5 date got their TA TODAY (actually last night). Now of course my agency added 3 days to the process (Argh) so my package wasn’t actually dropped off to the CCCWA until the 10^th but still if this is any indication of the current turnaround times I should be seeing a TA in a couple/few days?

Ahhhh but of course there's a hitch.... MY AGENCY waits until they have a hard copy of the TA in their office in TX so unlike my AP friend we won’t actually be informed of our TA until a few days after it is issued. Lovely. So surprised. Not really.

But I’m not here to bitch (much). I haven’t been writing lately (a factor of my adoption onset ADD) and I thought I might try to harness whatever brain power I don’t have focused on adoption and give you a little update on life outside the wonderful world of waiting.

I guess I will start with a progress report on my exercise boot camp. I told you about that right?? As part of my living out my word for 2012 (which was "discipline" of all things), I signed up for a 5am (kick myself in the) Boot(ie) Camp. I started on January 2^nd and to my utter dismay I’m still doing it.

At first it was hard, like light headed, ready to pass out, I hope no one cares if I puke, hard. Over the past few weeks though I’ve noticed I’m getting stronger and faster and more over I’m feeling really healthy. Go me. I’ve improved my mile time by a full 2 minutes (it can actually be called running now) and I can do more than 40 pushups in a minute. Sure they're girl pushups but trust me for this old broad, that’s the stuff.

And while that’s the good stuff, the bad stuff is the 4:50am wakeup call is killing me, mostly because I’m still up watching The Colbert Report at midnight but also because it's 4:50 in the FREAKIN' morning. Clearly I need to extend my discipline to an earlier bedtime!

What else???? Do you remember I mentioned we were talking to a producer about a TV show? Well our family is a finalist. I know right?

We think we’ll hear back in the next few days if we are actually cast. However one of the casting folks has already told us if we don’t get cast in this program they would like to pitch us for something else. Yeah were sort of a big deal like that (cough cough).

It’s all pretty ridiculous but whatever; I’m game for anything as long as it sounds like fun (and promotes adoption). So listen up TVland …have your girl call my girl and we’ll do lunch. (air)kiss, (air) kiss.

And really that’s it. I’m busy packing, (I’ve packed a dozen pair of shoes and outfits to go with each for my baby girl along with 40 more pounds of “necessities” for her) and, I'm nesting (I stripped the wallpaper in my kitchen---BTW wallpaper is of the devil) and, I'm planning the logistics of our trip (tickets booked, private adoption guide hired, tour company secured). The rest of my brain, if there is anything left after that, is busy obsessing with adoption timelines and setting up the occasional flowchart to analyze travel scenarios.

I know to some I look crazy but to those in the know, those BTDT got the T-shirt IA moms, they understand, THIS IS ADOPTION NORMAL! I think.

You know the deal... I write, you click, we all go home happy.

TA Guessing Game...Want to Play Along?

February 20, 2012

Well as you my dear readers know, as of February 7th or 10th (depending on how you count it) I have been waiting on Travel Approval. I am hoping and praying I get it this week which would make it one of the few things (besides our actual referral) to happen ahead of plan.

I'm just sayin'..... I WANT THIS LIKE A DOG WANTS A MEAT TRUCK.

So more as distraction than anything else let's have a little contest to see when I will get my TA. Sort of like picking the delivery date for a pregnant women ehh?

Here are the facts:

My Article 5 was picked up on February 7th and delivered on February 10th.
The average time from A5 to TA over the past 30 days is 24 calender days but that includes the Chinese New Year breaks.
The 90 day average is 20 days and the 2011 average was 19 days.
On Friday families with A5's dated 2/1-2/3 received their TA's, (just 14-17 days!!!).

So what is your prediction, when will we get our TA? (By "get" let's say, when will I be notified by my agency.)

Leave a comment with your best guess of date (AND TIME OF DAY for a tie breaker).
ALSO leave the name of your favorite orphan or adoption related charity in the comment.
Vote for my blog on Top Mommy Blog (Ok that part's optional and totally on the honor system...I trust you)

The first person to comment with the closest date/time will win a $50 donation for their selected charity.

Dentists, Fireworks and a Timid Smile

February 19, 2012

It appears a team of dentists from Crest visited Shepherd's Field today. (How awesome is that?)

My little one didn't look very please about it but it turns out it wasn't because of a fear of the dentist. Apparently there were fireworks going off across the street and she was scared by them. (BTW there are fireworks in China ALL. THE. TIME.)

Of course being the naturally happy and smiley little elf that she is eventually they were able to coax a smile out of her.

If you like my blog please click the link below to cast a vote for me on Top Mommy blogs.

A(nother) Year in Her Life...LOST.

February 17, 2012

It's hard to believe it's been almost a year since I first saw my daughter's face. Here she is when we first saw her and again today.

Age 2 years 8 months

Age 3 years and 9 months

Sigh....I mourn the changes. We've missed so much (more) of her life waiting. How I wish I could have been there from the first moment that her mother decided she could no longer parent. I suppose that is every adoptive mother's regret...the time lost to orphanages and temporary care. The love and protection we desperately wish we could have provided supplanted by circumstance.

Worse than my loss though is her's...since the age of 4 months SHE HAS BEEN WAITING.

The adoption process is apathetic to her waiting; it's an unmerciful, self absorbed task master with little compassion for the child. It's half sighted priorities focus almost exclusively on the needs and desires of adults..the kids are, (let me say this nicely), SECONDARY.

Birth Mothers determine a life long course for their child.

Orphanage Officials arbitrate if and when paper work for a given child is processed.

Government Bureaucracies cling to a process fraught will inefficiency, undue costs and misconduct.

Adoption Agencies advocate for some and not others.

Adoptive Parents choose who and when and under what terms they adopt.

And meanwhile....The Child...vulnerable and powerless, the supposed focus of our attention... waits, and grows, and loses (months and years and far too often all of) their childhood. A victim of chance in an adult controlled lottery.

I don't have the answers...I just know we can do better than this.

It's already too late for our daughter. The better part of four years, her entire babyhood, has been lost to "adoption". All we can do now is try to make up for that loss after she joins our family. We can help her deal with the unavoidable pain she will face as she comes to terms with her "adoption reality" and we can try to make her whole again but we will never be able to make up for those lost years.

Hard Conversations

February 16, 2012

I’ve been having a truly heartbreaking series of conversations with my little Ladybug. They started last Sunday when just the two of us went out for a day of shopping. We were chatting away, me from the drivers seat and she from her car seat in the back when out of the blue she asked, “Mommy what if the kids at my new school laugh at me?”

Caught by surprise I queried, “why would anyone laugh at you?”

“You know Mommy…because of my lip.”, (an annoyed "duh" was implied).

Stunned I searched for her face in the rear view mirror. She looked worried and her usually spunky eyes were now downcast and sad. My mind flashed to an image of some 5 year old incubus teasing my sweet innocent daughter. I fought back my own sadness and resisted the urge to go full out tiger mom on an imagined preschool bully.

“Did somebody at school laugh at you?”

“No.”

“Was it somebody at gymnastics?”

“Nooooo!” (this time with a tone usually reserved for teenagers). “Mommy, no one laughed at me, I just think I look funny and maybe the new kids will laugh at me.”

(She is so stinkin' observant and reflective. This kid has an old soul.)

I desperately wanted to tell her she is beautiful- PERFECT in every way. I wanted to dismiss her worries as silly and reassure her that no one would ever make fun of her or say anything unkind but I knew it was a lie. No matter how much I try to shelter her someday some rotten little brat is going to say something that hurts her.

As much as I want to protect her I know what I really need to do is prepare her.

And so I didn’t dismiss her fears or give her some false assurance that everyone will always be nice.

Instead I gulped hard and acknowledged that her lip and nose were different and sometimes people might tease her about it.

We talked about why she was born with a cleft (which of course we have done many times before) but then we talked about how she could respond when someone makes fun of her .

That conversation has continued since Sunday and we’ve been role-playing and practicing how she can respond in different situations. We’ve run the gamut from; educating, ignoring, being assertive and demanding the teasing stop and we’ve even come up with a few snappy retorts for just the right occasion.

(Of course her big brothers told her to just let them know about anyone who wasn’t nice to their little sister and they would “take care of it”. Can you say Soprano’s ? And while I don’t want to promote aggression I can tell she feels safer knowing the Bigs have her back.)

Tonight as I kissed her goodnight she informed me that I should talk to her teacher and have the teacher “tell the kids to be nice” to her. Sigh, if only it were so easy.

It all makes me wish I could keep her little and safely tucked away in her preschool or better yet keep her at home... forever.

Does she really have to grow up and walk the mean streets of kindergarten?

Calling All Kaz Families

February 15, 2012

Registration for Kazapalooza is now open!

Kazapalooza is always a fun (and if I'm perfectly honest pretty crazy& hectic) weekend, but this year I'm even more excited than usual because this year, I'm serving as lead event planner and we are meeting in my home state of O.H.I.O!

At first I was worried that humble old Midwest Ohio would seem like a let down after last year's picture perfect weekend at St Pete's Beach but as we develop our program I'm feeling like this Palooza is going to be just as fantastic here on the North Coast!

If you adopted from Kazakhstan and you are interested in attending Kazapalooza 2012 you can register here.

The Bee at her first Kazapalooza weekend in Nashville TN, 2009

Here's some more info...

Kazapalooza is a weekend long reunion of families with children adopted from Kazakhstan as well as fundraiser for charitable projects for Kazakhstan orphans . Each year since its inception in 2008 the event has grown bigger and bigger and last year more than 300 moms, dads and kaz kids joined in the fun.

Kazapalooza 2012 is being held on the shores of Lake Erie in Sandusky Ohio. The hotel this year is the incredible Kalahari Resort, America's largest indoor water park! Come kick off your summer vacation at Kazapalooza 2012!

Adult Ticket: $55.00
$65.00 after Monday April 2, 2012

Big Kid (11-17): $55.00
$65.00 after Monday April 2, 2012

Little Kid (3-10): $45.00
$55.00 after Monday April 2, 2012

Tot (2 and under): $10.00
$20.00 after Monday April 2, 201

All ages are based on how old the child is at the time of the event.

Program Highlights: Friday Night Welcome Reception featuring a Traditional Ohio Pig Roast, Saturday Morning Group Petting Zoo Tour with Zookeeper, Saturday Buffet Luncheon with Charity Auction & Kaz Kid Slide Show. Saturday afternoon Pool Party and choice of Dry-land Activity, Saturday Late Night Adult Only Dance Party, Sunday Morning Kiss and Cry (Goodbyes).

Plus more to come....we are still working hard to plan the best Palooza yet!*

A LIMITED number of discount rooms are available for $169 per night including 4 water park passes. To reserve your room contact the resort by phone and ask for the Kazapalooza block rate.

Happy Valentine's Day

February 14, 2012

I woke up this morning to find this little snuggle bug in my inbox.

The caption read "Happy Valentine's Day Everyone". Indeed.

Father Daughter Dance

February 12, 2012

Saturday afternoon marked a first for the girls and for their dad too. A father daughter dance.

Awwwwwww.

Yes it really was as sweet as it sounds. The girls got dolled up and daddy had pink carnation and silver ribbon wrist corsages for his double dates and mom, well she was just a little bit weepy.

Watching my husband with his daughters (as they wrap him around their little fingers) never ceases to melt me at the knees. Come to think of it these girls do a darned good job melting my heart too.

Guess I'm sort of melty about all three of them.