Five of My Own: Birthday Wishes

December 25, 2008 was a very special Christmas...it was Nina's second birthday and our first together. If you have followed our adoption odyssey from the beginning you know that that was the Christmas we took the whole family to Ust Kamengorsk to celebrate Christmas in Kazakhstan. We weren't supposed to break Nina out of the orphanage until January 7th but there was no way this mama was going to miss Christmas and her daughter's second birthday!

Its hard to imagine looking back at the photos that I thought I had adopted an "older child". She was still such a baby even at two years old. She was only 16 pounds and like the rest of her, her world, limited to the baby house walls was so very small.

I will never forget our coordinator telling me "she is shy...she will not dance for you right away...she will blossom like a flower."

She had no idea how right she was!

Nina Bea age 2 ...1st Christmas and Birthday Together Shiny River Hotel, Ust Kamengorsk, Kazakhstan)

A lot has changed since then. Nina has grown like crazy...in every way possible. She is still (ALWAYS) the smallest kid in the room (though she now tops 30 pounds and wears a size 3t!) but more importantly she is confident and unafraid of the world (even if sometimes she still gets a little shy). She KNOWS she is loved and that we are permanent and she trusts we can and will take care of her. Lots of things other kids take for granted...she now, finally does too.

I wish she didnt have this rough start in life and I wish selfishly that I could have been there for her first birthday and for the 365 days before that....and I wish there wasn't another mom...hurting... missing her right about now...a woman Nina undoubtedly will miss... more than she already does. Sigh, such hard complicated stuff for such a little girl.

For now though Im just going to focus on the now, the wonderful, the magical and Nina's six year old birthday wish...to grow REAL fairy wings.

Love you Nina Bea, Always Mom.