Run Lori Run

What. Have. I. Done?

I'm no runner. Seriously I'm not being modest.

At best, I lumber... sometimes with a convulsive stumble and limp.

I didn't run lumber at all until last August when I started dragging myself around the track while Nolan was at football practice.  It all began as just something to do while I waited for him.  Practice was a couple hours each night and I figured it was better than doing what most of the parents were doing which was mainly sitting on camp chairs and digging into bags of Doritos.

Ever the optimist delusional maniac, by September I was signed up for the Two Hearts for Hope 5k.  It was a classic move for me.  Swept up in the excitement of helping raise money for a good cause and the chance to meet up with a bunch of Kaz friends I decided to ignore the reality that I had yet to finish more than two laps around the track without a break. I did cross the finish line but it was not a pretty site.

A normal person would have learned her lesson.

(I think we've already established that normal isn't exactly my strong suit.)

 So I now I find myself signed up to run a half marathon.

That's 13.1 miles

In a row.

In 10 weeks.

I reiterate, what have I done?

This week I think I officially reached the freak out/I can't do this stage.

Now sobering up to the grim reality of what lays ahead of me I am searching for training tips, techniques and equipment that might offer some promise of actually getting me across the finish line.

And here lies the reason for this post.  Some of you must be runners. Runners who have some amazing secret to effortlessly gliding 13.1 miles. I want need your training tips!

Now ideally I would like to find a training program that requires me to run very slowly on an limited and inconsistent schedule excluding; bad weather days, days when I have a late meeting at work, the week of my period, any night I feel like having a glass of wine or morning I want to sleep late or the night that Glee is on. Also it should not include hills, heavy breathing or undue sweating.

Otherwise I am completely open. Your willing student.

Bring it.

In addition to a marathon panacea I also need a few more votes to break into the top ten at Top Mommy Blogs.