You Know You're Adopted When...

I found this on Facebook. It is from a group of nearly 500 Adoptees. The quotes below were submitted by the members of this group. Some of the comments are painful and raw and it was difficult for me to read these and not feel distressed and even guilty. But as uncomfortable as this made me I think it is important for me to remember that Nina will have her own feelings and opinions about HER adoption and they won't necessarily be positive.

• You know you're adopted when the word "grateful" sets your teeth on edge.
• You know you're adopted when you can't get a passport because the only birth certificate you're allowed to have is so inconsistent or incomplete that the passport office won't accept it.
• You know you're adopted when your birth certificate says you were born in a state you've never lived in, not even for 5 minutes.
• You know you're adopted when you have no baby pictures prior to your adopted identity, because you didn't exist before then.
• You know you're adopted when your parents are allowed to abuse you because you're "lucky" they took you in at all.
• You know you're adopted when your adoptive parents are so old they have more medical appointments than you do.
• You know you're adopted when your real ethnic/racial identity is erased and you're expected to act like you're actually (fill in the blank) instead.
• You know you're adopted when you're the only brown skinned girl at your synagogue training for your Bat Mitzvah.
• You know you're adopted when the Adoption Stories on TLC makes you wanna barf.
• You know you're adopted when you're tired of being a "good adoptee"
• You know you're adopted when you smile blandly when people say, "oh, you're adopted! how cool!"
• You know you're adopted when you're thrown out of Sunday school, age 9, for asking inconvenient questions about mass, breeding, genetics, and manure about Noah's Ark, when the family have gone to that church forever and believe the dino fossils are a test by satan.
• You know you're adopted when you check the Internet several times a day to see if your first family is looking for you.
• You know you're adopted when you write letters to state senators and assembly members from any state with sealed records even if you weren't born or adopted there.
• You know you're adopted when you know more about people-finding Internet sites than the average private investigator.
• You know you're adopted when you can find someone in the US Census without a name.
• You know you're adopted when you have no clue who gave birth to you.
• You know you're adopted when you secretly want to smash your b-day cake.
• You know you're adopted when you can pretend you don't know your aparents when out in public together.
• You know you're adopted when the news of an older couple adopting an infant as their first child makes you wanna puke.
• You know you're adopted when your birth certificate is a joke.
• You know you're adopted when you visit the doctor and have repeat over and over that no, you really don't know your medical history.
• You know you're adopted when...your birth certificate is a false record and there is no actual corresponding birth in official birth records.
• You know you're adopted when ..when you hear Madonna's song "Papa Don't Preach" and start to cry.
• You know you're adopted when you are mortified by having to do those "around the room" introductions.
• You know you're adopted when you played "kidnapping" instead of "tea parties".
• You know you're adopted when you always fuck up your relationships for no good reason.
• You know you're adopted when "Adopt a Highway" signs make you want to hurl.
• You know you're adopted when you know what AP, PAP, OBC, ABC, and any combination of letters starting with B, N, or F stand for.
• You know you're adopted when all your dolls and stuffed animals had feelings and you felt guilty about having a favorite.
• You know you're adopted when a "family tree" assignment in school gives you an anxiety attack.
• You know you're adopted when you're supposed to be interested in history class, but are not supposed to show interest in your own history.
• You know you're adopted when a stranger becomes your mother, and your mother becomes a stranger.
• You know you're adopted when you see people's reaction once they hear your name.
• You know you're adopted when you don't look like your parents but you look like the doll they gave you.
• You know you're adopted when you named your cabbage patch kid "baby girl"
• You know you're adopted when you take your own babies pictures and try to pass them off as your "real sisters"
• You know you're adopted when you ask your mommy to buy you a baby sister at the grocery store.
• You know you're adopted when your parents can't tell you how big you were at birth or what time of day your were born at.
• You know you're adopted when you have a childhood fantasy where you're part of a large family where all the siblings look alike AND look like the parents.
• You know you're adopted when hearing the word 'adoption' makes your hear skip a beat--and not in a good way.
• You know you're adopted when perfect strangers tell you you ought to be grateful you were 'taken in'.
• You know you're adopted when you get a minority college scholarship based on your skin color but it's quickly taken away because of your white parent's income.
• You know you're adopted when you're the only brown kid in your school.
• You know you're adopted when you have to consider your natural parents "birth parents".
• You know you're adopted when you have to consider your adoptive parents your "real parents".
• You know you're adopted when the government says you have no right to no who gave birth to you.
• You know you're adopted when you're having sex and a guy asks, "Who's your Daddy?" and you cry.
• You know you're adopted when both your parents are white but your not.
• You know you're adopted when you were born from your mothers heart because she already hit menopause.
• You know you're adopted when people ask you if you would have rather been an abortion.
• You know you're adopted when someone has to tell you who your REAL mother is.
• You know you're adopted when you request a DNA test instead of a STI test every time you meet someone new!
• You know you're adopted when you have more of an IQ than your entire A-family put together, and they can't help you out with your G&T homework age 10 because the math is too hard.
• You know you're adopted when you do a family tree of your 'family'.... and there's no features. At all.
• You know you're adopted when you go to the pound and get the dog with three legs, half an ear (total), no tail, and want the rest of them too.